Hope?

I tried something new today - I went for a service at a new "church" called Hope for Today Fellowship.

Studies show that the happiest people feel like they are part of a community. Many of my friends have found this feeling of community through religion. I have to admit - I struggle with religion. I was raised a Roman Catholic and I still haven't decided if God blessed my life, or cursed it. I long for the peace and serenity that people belonging to a religious group feel.

There are many reasons why I don't attend Catholic services. I won't go into details - suffice to say the services don't fulfill me, they just make me sad. Sad with regret that my relationship with my church turned out this way.

So, is a Christian fellowship for me? Nope. After half an hour of singing, they had the collection. Then the sermon began. Hebrews Chapter 10. The sermon was about God's wrath and vengeance. Sitting there listening to that, I was filled with the feeling that not only am I probably cursed in this life, it seems I may be cursed in the afterlife. How depressing. I didn't stay to hear the rest but left. I even left behind the gift bag they give visitors.

I may struggle with my religion, but I want to hear a message of redemption and salvation, of love and forgiveness, of a kind benevolent father. I don't need someone to fill me with fear and trepidation - that's already my life.

So keep your vengeful God. He's not mine.


This work by Suzette Seveny is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 2.5 Canada License.